SHANE

It began as a blog about completing a thesis, it became a blog about everything but completing a thesis, it ended with a complete thesis.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Wedding

Went to a wedding last weekend. I met the marrying couple, Dawn and Tim, through Emma – that was September 2004. Saw them again November and December 2004, and February 2005. Highly likeable people, both sharing the same sense of humour, neither taking themselves or each other too seriously. A match made in Hull. Before this, the last wedding that I attended was about 10 years ago. I didn’t think people got married anymore. Clearly I was wrong.

The wedding ceremony, dinner and party all took place at a city centre hotel here in the Midlands. In attendance there was to be a handful of people who I already knew, but about 100 or so who I didn’t know. Being, in effect, a ‘plus one’ at such an occasion felt a bit odd. However, there must have been plenty of us ‘plus ones’, and to everyone’s credit it wasn’t possible to tell who were the old friends and who were the new.

Now, I had to keep telling myself that I had to just go with the flow, not think too much about this ‘getting married’ malarkey, and be positive. Also, recognising that I could end up cogitating too much about what this was all about, Emma also suggested that I ‘go with the flow, not think too much about this ‘getting married’ malarkey, and be positive’. We were thinking (but not too much) as one. In the way that children are likely to get bored at such occasions (thus colouring pens and paper are thrust at them), Emma cleverly found a ‘task’ for me. She herself was on usherly duties. Whilst flitting about being Mr Sociable I had to keep a keen ear open for any one-liners that stood out, for whatever reason – funny, poignant, uplifting, whatever. This was in order that images and words from the event could later be mixed to create a montage of Dawn and Tim’s big day. Good one, Emma. So I got scribbling. Here are a handful of one-liners, some I heard direct, others were relayed to me:-

‘Burning the hotel down with hair-straighteners would not be a good idea’ (Friend Jo, to Shane, in her hotel room prior to events)

‘We saw Tim at breakfast – he’d been for a swim and was stuffing his face; one of his best men was hung-over and had been practicing his best man speech ‘til 4am’ (Lucy, a friend)

‘Here we are in the city centre, surrounded by places where Dawn grew up – drinking; memories – perfect; we’ve got laser quest over there in case people get bored later’ (Tim, privately to Shane)

‘How are you feeling, Tim - serene?’
‘Serene isn’t the word, I’m thinking of relocating to the toilet’ (Tim, responding to Emma’s sister)

‘You still can’t get married on football pitches – shame that’ (The Registrar)

‘You look beautiful’ (Tim, privately to Dawn – lip-read by Shane as Dawn joined Tim for the ‘Do yous’ and ‘I dos’)

‘Does anyone know what you do with a cravat?’ (Best man 1, to Emma, wedding morning)

‘My Dad’s best friend is here - Bob’ (Mal, another ‘plus one’)

‘This is just so publicly emotional – it’s fantastic’ (Sara, wife of a best man)

‘He’s a smashin’ fella’ (Dawn’s aunt, to a friend)

‘I guess you don’t know who I am, do you?’ (Emma’s Dad, to Tim)

‘We didn’t know whether it would sound any good - the guitars being put through the disco, but she sang really well didn’t she?’ (Dawn’s uncle, guitarist; also referring to Tim’s sister, singer)

‘We like to think of them as our very own celebrity couple – a bit like Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey really’ (Best man 1)

‘I’m Tim and Dawn’s posh friend’ (Best man 2)

‘It was leaving the house this morning – that’s when it got me’ (Dawn’s mum)

‘I didn’t realise that everyone else was like that (crying)’ (Dawn’s mum)

‘I’m going to hide behind a pillar to have a smoke, let me know if my mum or dad come’ (Emma’s sister, aged 26)

And my personal favourite, Lucy inviting our ‘cripple’ friend Jill, to dance:

Lucy: ‘Dance Jill?’
Jill: ‘I’d rather eat my own hand’

Now, given my initial reserve and anticipation of feeling somewhat removed from the whole thing, let me tell you that on no fewer than about 10 occasions did I well up, big time. Tears didn’t quite roll, but I was moved – a lot. Because of the ‘family histories’ of both Tim and Dawn, it was the case that the whole event was loaded with emotion in addition to the standard fare emotion of such an occasion. Seeing and hearing ordinarily ‘cool’, ‘easy-going’ and ‘light’ friends getting watery-eyed and speaking publicly with voices cracking under the emotional weight of the day would have challenged even the coldest among us to keep it together. I was surprised and glad at how I experienced the whole day. I was also surprised, but a little less glad, at how I danced to the B-52s’ ‘Love Shack’.

Weddings eh!

*****
I love a happy ending.

Am going to be away for almost a fortnight, will be back.