Monkey

Saturday...

Shane: Don't be ridiculous
Emma: It's true, look (hands over a leaflet) - my Mum went last week
Shane: Oh my- it's true - monkeys... in Stoke-on-Trent! How bizarre
Emma: She said it was good
Shane: So it's a bit... zoo-like, is it?
Emma: No, she wouldn't have liked that - she said that they all seemed happy - climbing trees, swinging about and looking to be generally at ease
Shane: Mm
Emma: So should we?
Shane: What?
Emma: Go
Shane: Where?
Emma: To the monkey park of course
Shane: Ah the monkey park... in Stoke-on-Trent (awkward silence) er-, okay then

Enter Alex

Alex: Mummy, what time are we going to see the monkeys?
Shane: Eh? How come-
Emma: I said we'd go tomorrow didn't I
Alex: Oh yeah - cos Shane is a cheeky monkey and we have to take him to the monkey park (Emma laughs)
Shane: Wha'? Conspiracy! You'd already decided
Emma: No - I simply chose to tell you about what would have been an exciting surprise for you - you're 'inner circle' you are Shane
Shane: Rigggghhhhhhht (not convinced)

Sunday (at the monkey park)...

Shane: Heh look at that one
Alex: Which?
Shane: It's on it's mummy's back - she just crossed the footpath up ahead
Alex: Noooo-
Shane: Yes she did - I saw
Emma: No I think he means-
Shane: There! You can see! She's just stopped by the log - the baby has hopped to the ground
Alex: No Shane
Shane: It did - I saw it
Emma: No - what he means is-
Shane: But-
Alex: Shannnnnnnne, it's not a monkey -
Shane: Mm?
Alex: - it's a baby squirrel!
Shane: What? (looks up) Oh yeahhhh
Alex: See!
Shane: That's what I said - look at that baby squirrel on the monkey's back
Emma: No you didn't
Alex: No you didn't
Shane: (Pause) Yes I did
Alex: SHANE! LOOK - UP THE TREE! (really really loud)
Shane: What? (concerned)
Alex: I can see that one's bum hole! Yuuuuuuk! (bystanders snigger)

Earth does not open up to swallow Emma and Shane.

*****
I love lower league football.