Temptress

Ken: Y' remember Zoe?
Shane: Zoe? Mm... nope.
Ken: Well she's done alright for herself - she's been offered a job in S.A.
Shane: Who? What? Where?
Ken: Zoe - you met her when we did the Reading festival one year - the one where Eminem did that double act thing with Marilyn Manson-
Shane: Oh-, that was shit.
Ken: Yeah it was.
Shane: (pause) Zoe. Didn't you and she-
Ken: Yeah - long time ago - we don't talk about that.
Shane: Right - yeah.
Ken: Well anyway-
Shane: She was fit.
Ken: She is, was. Anyway, she's got herself a job in South Africa.
Shane: Good one. Doing what?
Ken: Something to do with film. I think.
Shane: Fit Zoe has got herself a job - in South Africa - that's 'something to do with... film'.
Ken: Yeah. (pause) Whoaaaaaaa - not porn. Just something to do with culture and tourism or something. Poncy stuff. Your sort of thing. You'd get it if she explained.
Shane: Mm, right. Hold on - poncy?
Ken: She says we can go and visit!
Shane: Bournemouth?
Ken: Not Bournemouth you tit. South Africa! We can visit her in South Africa.
Shane: Kenneth.
Ken: Mm?
Shane: What the fuck are you talking about?
Ken: She says that I should go and visit her, and that I should take someone else out there too.
Shane: Kenny. I hardly know her. And besides, I don't think she meant me.
Ken: But she liked you.
Shane: That's not what I meant.
Ken: What?
Shane: I think she meant something else.
Ken: You're making no sense.
Shane: I think she probably meant that you should take a... a girlfriend - if you had one.
Ken: But I don't have a girlfriend.
Shane: Yes, I know that.
Ken: I'm not sure that I want a girlfriend.
Shane: Well don't get one.
Ken: (pause) No, I won't.
Shane: Ok.
Ken: (pause) I thought we could go next August.
Shane: 'We' Kenneth, what is this 'we'? Go on your own again - you'd get more out of it that way. Personal adventure and all that.
Ken: I didn't mean that I wanted you to go as my girlfriend.
Shane: No, I know that. Bloody good job too.
Ken: Your brother maybe, but not you.
Shane: Are you being funny Kenneth?
Ken: Can't I tempt y'?
Shane: What? Homosexuality or Africa?
Ken: (far too long a pause) Africa.
Shane: (pause) I don't think that I could just about drop everything and piss off-
Ken: -like we used to?
Shane: Mm.
Ken: Sleep on it. I think you'd love it. Emma would understand. Fuck it - she'd be welcome too. And the boy.
Shane: Expensive.
Ken: Mm.
Shane: Kenneth.
Ken: Mm?
Shane: (pause) You dirty temptress.

It was an idea that would require strategic marketing.