Stoned

I made my (approximately weekly) call to Kenneth.

Shane: Good evening Kenneth.
Ken: Hello chum, how's it going?
Shane: It's going well, this week I 'ave been mostly getting to grips with feminism.
Ken: Really?!
Shane: Was quite interesting.
Ken: It's funny you should say that-
Shane: It is?
Ken: It is.
Shane: Why? Discovered your feminist credentials?
Ken: (surprised) Aren't you a feminist?
Shane: Er-, I don't know, hadn't asked myself that.
Ken: Why not?
Shane: (ponders) Other peoples' politics?
Ken: Poor Shane, very poor. We'll put that down to tiredness.
Shane: Thank you dear.
Ken: You're welcome. Anyway, as I was saying-
Shane: Mm?
Ken: -it's funny you should mention feminism. Y' see, I've been dipping into that sort of stuff too.
Shane: Is this the build-up to an unoriginal joke?
Ken: Not at all. I've been reading about 'power and the vagina'.
Shane: Of course you have Kenneth, of course you have. And without wishing to regret asking, what have you learned... about power and, or, the vagina?
Ken: Well, basically speaking - no offence, Sharon Stone did better than Madonna and Demi Moore, but none of them quite got there.
Shane: Got where?
Ken: I don't know, I was just, er, reading for gist.
Shane: Okay. So where did De Kenneth Profundis come from?
Ken: (pause) I've got a new friend.
Shane: Yee-eesss?
Ken: We've been having lunch together. A lot.
Shane: Eating is important. Say more...
Ken: An Italian.
Shane: Okayyyyyy...
Ken: Her name's Gabriela.
Shane: A-haaaaa...
Ken: She's classy.
Shane: Her feminism certainly suggests that.
Ken: Yeah - she's a postgraduate student.
Shane: Nice one Kenneth.
Ken: Yeah.
Shane: So Ken's got himself a classy brainy Italian bird... one who's encouraging him to read about Hollywood totty.
Ken: (bashfully) Well, I haven't quite got myself an Italian bird-
Shane: -Heh! Steady-on there with your hard-core feminist rant Kenneth. Bite not the Shane who calls you.
Ken: Oh yeah, sorry, lost control for a moment. Yeah, anyway, we're getting on well.
Shane: Sounds good, mustn't rush these things. (pause) So what's next for Kenneth and the classy Italian, Gabriela?
Ken: (pause) I'm takin' her to Walthamstow on Saturday.

The Ken done good. Ish.