Flanders

Oh God no, not that Flanders you fool – what would I want with Belgium? Hell, I’ve been to Antwerp, and let me tell you, ‘hell’ it almost certainly was. That’s where I got talking to a drunk Liverpudlian – can you imagine anything worse?... “Squeaky squeaky slur slur…” It was awful. What I’m talking about, is this Flanders. Say those words with me: “Newsnight Economics Editor”. Can you hear that? That’s violins. Sweet upliftin’ music. Anyway, I have decided. It is she who I will marry. You know, now that Hilary Swank has been blown out. I had considered getting friendly with that Ronaldo boy at Manchester United but I hear that his farts smell like cauliflower, and I’m not having that – Portuguese wonderkid or not. Marriage date: June 2006, assuming no national or international monetary crises.

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Elsewhere, Emma – m’ pardner who has often been mentioned here - has found this blog. And the first that she’ll know of my knowing that, is reading this! Hello. As I’m sure they’d say on MTV, you are busted! Let me introduce you to the wonder of statcounter. I mean, searching from that location for ‘Shane Wexford’. And you said that you wouldn’t be interested in reading the blog. That’s one big Chinese burn I owe you. Everyone else, stay out of this - we have our ways…

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Heard PM Tony Blair on the radio earlier today, launching the Labour Party manifesto for the forthcoming general election, and like I said before, it’s going to be ok. And do you know why it’s going to be ok? Well, it’s because he’s going to work for - and I quote - “…the many and the few”. Oh lordy lord, can you imagine ever having the confidence in people being so numb of mind that that kind of empty rhetoric would seem to be persuasive? Don’t answer that.

Did I mention that I love some theatre spaces?