Six

Some blogs I like because they make me smile, some I like because the prose reads 'like treacle' (to nick a line from The Crying Game), some make me think, and some are very rich seams of good comments. Those who come across as natural bloggers - who write in exactly the manner that I imagine that they think and talk - are particularly impressive. Claire is one of these. Recently, she posed 6 questions Shanewardly and asked that at least 5 be answered. In the words of The Chemical Brothers, here we go...

1. What do you research, and why that path...other than the PhD?!

I'll not answer the first part (anonymity).

Why this broad path? Influences include:- Watching my sister grow up, getting arrested "for a crime that I did not commit" (many moons ago) (((shudder))), listening to a couple of academic tutors, believing them, getting my hands on a couple of influential books early on in my studies, believing questions to be as interesting as answers, and returning to education at what felt like the right time (1997, age 22).

2. Have you ever been given a nickname that you just couldn't stand, and what is it?

No I haven't. However, whilst working in a factory in my home-town in the mid-90s there was a chap who gave me the name "Lah-de-dah" (as in posh) (NB/ you really don't have to be very posh to be considered posh where I come from). By this time my accent had already softened a lot, and however hard I tried I just couldn't talk in high-speed north-easternisms. I also tended to wince at some of the tabloid newspapers. I remember making the guy almost wet himself with laughter after he'd asked for my views on a particular Page 3 image. I think it was my use of the term 'pendulous breasts' wot did it. I think that without trying he and I amused one another.

3. If you could go anywhere in the world for however long you wanted, where would you go and why?

Tough question. I'd go to the USA and spend a year touring in a big camper van. The USA would suit the geo-anorak in me, and I'd like to re-visit a few places in New York state. I think there's a lot to America that we don't hear of - I'd choose Mundane America over Media America any day. I know there are people who would avoid the USA for political reasons, however, I think if we look hard enough we could all find shit on our own doorsteps.

4. You're going to be stranded alone for 12 months, you get to take 5 items with you...what do you take? (I'm going to answer this in desert island terms)

A radio (the most important thing by a country mile)
A huge ream of paper
Pens (I'm assuming that a laptop with internet access would be a no-no)
Toothpaste
Don Quixote (3 pages per day - read 'em and wipe!)

5. What's the most annoying song you've had stuck in your head this week?

None this week. KT Tunstall's song about 'Other Side of the World' has been a pleasant enough head-ditty. I'm also liking Eels and the Kaiser Chiefs. I do remember once sitting in an exam and having T'Pau's 'China in Your Hand' stuck in my head. That was bloody awful.

6. If you could be famous, what would you be famous for?

Writing a play or novel that both entertained and made a politically-engaging contribution to cultural life. I think Willy Russell's Educating Rita is an excellent example of such a thing. I'll leave ending war and poverty to someone else.

Claire, thank you.

If anyone would like to be 'tagged', please email me (see profile) to let me know, and I'll fire 6 questions at you.

*****
(Shane and Alex (4) watching a TV programme in which a baby rhino is treated by a veterinary surgeon)

Shane: Y' know, y' don't get rhinos in this country
Alex: Yeah y' do
Shane: Really?
Alex: Yeah
Shane: (pause for thought) Where?
Alex: Chester zoo
Shane: (smiling) Ah yes

*****
There's. Somethin'. Happenin'. Here...

Capricorn: Eat pie, or if you're into numbers, eat pi.
Aquarius: Give a dog a bone.
Pisces: Give a neighbour a bone.
Leo: Give in to temptation.
Virgo: Create a religion. Let David Hasselhoff be your God.
Libra: Whilst a friend drinks milk, make them laugh so much that it comes out of their nose.
Scorpio: Whilst a lover drinks milk, make them reach such a peak orgasm that...
Sagittarius: Claim to have seen Jesus in Totnes. Sell Totnes on eBay.
Aries: Become a model for a life-drawing class.
Taurus: Only eat eggs this week. This will help with your 'trouble'.
Gemini: Here's an idea: cosmetic surgery on your bottom. Sit on it for a while.
Cancer: Dark eye make-up, and all will be well.

*****
I love the smell of basil - the herb, not the bloke off Fawlty Towers - though I'm sure he'd smell ok.