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On Saturday I will be going to the races. This will be the first jumps meeting that I’ve been to, and a first dalliance with the folk of Uttoxeter. I am told that this is the biggest day of the racing year for this particular course – we will see ‘The Midlands National’. Whilst living in the north east I got to the flat races at Redcar and Newcastle, I also got to Chester a couple of years ago - all good days out. Saturday’s experience will be novel as Brother Wexford will be heading south to join our party of twelve. Previously, he met Emma – albeit briefly. On this occasion he will meet her sister too. Post-races comments will include:-

“Your brother has such a deep voice”
“How come your brother’s so tall?”
“His accent is so much stronger than your’s - I think I got about every third word”
“Your brother seemed to be doing well – how much did he win?”
“So Shane, how much did you lose altogether?”

A couple of Emma’s friends will be in attendance too. Nice people, though really heavy drinkers. I will be revealed to be the lightweight that I truly am. Such a lightweight status can manifest in three ways:-

1. Shane is the first (or only) person to puke.
2. I start planning exotic outings for the months ahead – committing to music festivals, and so on.
3. Asking people if they’ve ever heard the song ‘Only Gay Eskimo’. And if they haven’t, they are instantly assaulted with an impromptu rendition. Lyrics here.

I love a happy ending?